What is Masking?

Masking is an (often involuntary) strategy adopted to 'fit in' with societal expectations

If you're a parent or carer of an autistic, child, you may have noticed moments when they seem to "blend in" or suppress certain of their behaviours in social settings. This is known as masking, and while it might seem helpful on the surface, it often comes at a significant emotional cost.

Autistic masking refers to the conscious or unconscious effort by autistic individuals to hide their autistic traits and behave in ways that are considered normal or more accurately neurotypical. This can include forcing eye contact, mimicking social behaviours, suppressing stimming (repetitive movements or sounds); hiding sensory discomfort and/or pretending to understand social cues.

Masking is often a survival strategy—a conscious and often unconscious attempt to avoid misunderstanding, social exclusion and bullying, and children may begin masking for a number of reasons:

• Social pressure: wanting to fit in with their peers and avoid being labeled as "different."

• Fear of judgment: past experiences of being teased or punished for autistic behaviors.

• Desire to please adults: trying to meet expectations from teachers or parents about how to behave.

• Safety: in some environments, masking may even feel necessary to avoid conflict or harm. This is particularly so for multiply-marginalised autistic people, e.g. those who are not white.

  
  

While masking can help children navigate certain situations, it’s not a sustainable or healthy long-term strategy and there are many hidden costs. It can be exhausting and emotionally damaging and many autistic individuals report:

• Anxiety and depression

• Burnout from constant effort to appear neurotypical

• Loss of identity or confusion about who they really are

• Delayed diagnosis due to masked traits being overlooked

Children who mask often feel like they must hide their true selves to be accepted, which can lead to low self-esteem and difficulty forming authentic relationships. Supporting a child who masks starts with creating a safe, accepting environment where they feel free to be themselves. Here are some ways to help:

• Validate Their Experience: tell our child know that their feelings and behaviors are valid. Avoid punishing or correcting autistic traits like stimming or avoiding eye contact.

• Encourage Self-Expression by providing outlets for your child to express themselves—through art, movement, play, or conversation. Celebrate their unique ways of interacting with the world.

• Model Acceptance: ensure that you talk openly about neurodiversity and demonstrate genuine acceptance of differences. Help your child understand that being autistic is not something to hide or be ashamed of.

• Advocate in School and Other Social Settings by working with teachers and caregivers to ensure that your child isn’t pressured to mask. Advocate for accommodations that support their sensory and communication needs.

• Connect with the Autistic Community: engaging with autistic adults and communities can help your child see positive role models and feel less alone. It also gives you insight into their lived experiences.

Autistic masking is a complex and often misunderstood part of many autistic children's experience. As a parent or carer, your support, understanding, and advocacy can help your child feel safe to be themselves, not only protecting their mental health—but also empowering them to thrive.

If your child or young person is struggling and you think masking may be an issue, SEND Advocacy can provide information, advice and support to help ensure they receive the provision to which they are entilted. If you need someone in your corner to help you secure the education they deserve, contact SEND Advocacy today.